Cinematic Intelligence Agency

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What the Director of Intelligence advises

The problem

Sorry, I am probably sending this suggestion to the wrong person - but you may be able to help.

I would love to see a new movie version of Wuthering Heights; the best two versions were the original 1939 version with Laurence Olivier and then a later version starring Timothy Dalton. The version with Ralph Feinnes was appallingly bad.

A new version could have actor Heath Ledger as Heathcliff and it could be directed by someone like Sharon Maguire.

I see Heathcliff as sympathetic character who responded to others as they treated him. He was treated exceedingly badly by most and was a hapless victim of English class snobbery. But he was a man of talent, extraordinary drive and all consuming passion, and succeeded on his own. Without the opportunity to love, all he had left was hate and revenge in his life.

I would love to see him presented in a complex but sympathetic light. He would need a Catherine who was presented in much the same way that Merle Oberon presented her in the original film version: headstrong and wild yet raised in a class where it was impossible to consider a future with Heathcliff.

All the other characters in the story should be well rounded and well intentioned, but their main purpose is to block the progress of the passionate love between Heathcliff and Catherine.

Can you help?

Regards,

Sharon McIntyre

The Director of Intelligence replies

Gidday Sharon

1. There are two ways to get a movie made:

1. Convince someone else to make it, or
2. Make it yourself.

2. If you choose Option 1.1 then you will need to:

1. Have lots of money, or
2. Have lots of someone else's money, or
3. Have sex with someone, or
4. Have lots of sex with someone, or
5. Trick someone, or
6. All of the above.

3. If you choose Option 1.2 then you will need to:

1. Have lots of money, or
2. Have lots of someone else's money, or
3. Have lots of sex with someone, or
4. All of the above.

4. If you choose Option 3 then you will need to:

1. Write an awesome script, and
2. Get an agent, and
3. Have your agent to send the script to Heath Ledger and Sharon Maguire.

1. See Option 1.

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